


"It's a group chat Barry!"

by Dancingspeedster



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Bad Dirty Talk, F/M, Siri - Freeform, Texting, Texting Language
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-30
Updated: 2017-06-25
Packaged: 2018-10-13 01:19:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 2,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10503456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dancingspeedster/pseuds/Dancingspeedster
Summary: This story is from my work on wattpad which you can find under the name "Flashfan147"Team Flash and Arrow know how to have fun when they're not saving the day or proposing 300 times (Get it right the first time Barry).  These are a series of texts from these heroes.





	1. Chapter 1

Barry: Can't wait to see you 2nite ;)  
Iris:I'm already so wet for you Barr  
Barry:Wanna know what I'm gonna do 2 u 2nite.  
Iris:YESSSSSS  
Barry:Typing...  
Cisco:u guys know this a group chat rite  
Caitlin: And Barry, you're in the same room for gods sake.  
Barry:Shitt  
Barry:srrrrry  
Cisco:that explains ur 9-inch boner. man,what did that lightning do 2 u. mine aint even that big!  
Caitlin:Ewwww. Keep it G-rated please!!!  
Cisco:Bruh. why u always using punctuation and correct spelling or some shit. It ruins the whole texting vibe tho imo.  
Caitlin: Whatever! Can we please actually talk in real life. The silence is so cringey!! Also, when was the last time you went to school  
Cisco:Smh  
Iris: This is so fucking awkward oml  
Iris left the group chat at 4:38 PM  
Barry:Yea ummmmm...  
Barry left the group chat at 4:42 PM  
Cisco:Kay. y'all can leave. But the txt time I see Iris, All 4 of us gon talk.  
Caitlin left the group chat at 4:43 PM  
The not real Harrison Wells or Harry that carries a weird ass drumstick around all the damn time joins the group chat  
The not real Harrison Wells or Harry that carries a weird ass drumstick around all the damn time:Hello  
Cisco:Aww hell no. Bye felicia.  
Cisco left the group chat at 4:50 PM

 

The day ended with Barry and Iris missing Date Night because Cisco and Caitlin were to busy deleting all of the group chats on their phones that included them.

The lesson of the story kids...  
is don't sext on a group chat.

End.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team Arrow with OLICITY!!

Oliver:damnit!howthehelldoyouusethis  
Felicity:Space Bar? :/  
Diggle:Ollie. Use the space bar  
Oliver:DiggleHelp!thekeysaresosmall  
Thea:Calm the fuck down Ollie. Space bar.  
Felicity:WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU TRIED TO TYPE!!!  
Oliver:Wherethefuckisit  
Oliver:Oh...got it  
Diggle: smh  
Thea:Bro.  
Felicity:SEX IS OFF TONIGHT FOR BEING AN IDIOT!!  
Thea:Trying to hide my laughter cuz I'm literally in the middle of a meeting  
Oliver: Wow. Can't blame a guy FOR TRYING TO FIND THE FUCKING SPACE BAR  
Diggle: I'm leaving the chat beforee Ollie blows his top on me.  
Diggle left the group chat at 4:21 PM  
Oliver:5 years on an island makes you miss out on shit.  
Felicity:Like sex with me  
Oliver:I'm so gonna sue Apple.  
Thea:That's my bro


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damn Brownies.

Barry:IRIS!!  
Iris:What. I'm in the middle of a damn press conference and my phone will not stop going off.  
Barry:When are you coming home  
Iris: Maybe 30 minutes  
Barry:OH GOD!!!!  
Iris:smh. what did ur clumsy ass do  
Barry:promise you won't get mad  
Iris: :(I already AM MAD IF U HAVE'NT NOTICED  
Barry:The kitchen...It's real fucked up  
Iris:were u making GODDAMN BROWNIES AGAIN  
Barry:Umm...I think Cisco said he needs some help at STAR Labs so...  
Iris:I will fucking kill you if you ruined my new appliances. They're fucking stainless steel.  
Barry:I'm so sleeping on the couch tonight then.  
Iris:Damn straight


	4. Chapter 4

Oliver:Zxvbhfsawwtyhhbvcf  
Thea:dafuq   
Diggle:Still tryna work them IPhone's  
Oliver:srhjuysasthnhuikknh  
Thea:Ollie,you sure you're not having a stroke or something  
Diggle:i'm going to pick up Sara from daycare but if Oliver is 4 real having a seizure,call me  
Diggle left the Group chat at 4:39 pm  
Thea:Ollie?  
Oliver:oh shit,did i just butt dial you during sex  
Oliver:omigod omigod omigod. Shit  
Thea:ewwwwwww  
Felicity:ollie,that was great sex  
Felicity:oh shit. Group chat... forgot  
Thea:hell no  
Thea left the group chat at 4:36 pm  
Oliver:yea um...  
Oliver left the group chat at 4:40 pm  
Felicity:leaves just me  
Felicity:and i just realized im talking to myself rn  
Felicity:still doing it dammit  
Felicity left the group chat at 4:43 pm


	5. Chapter 5

Linda:IRIS FUCKING WEST!  
Iris:what linda  
Linda:did u have Barry Allen propose to u and not tell me  
Iris:well we were going to reveal it to everyone once we sent out the invites for the engagement party.  
Linda:well im in Coast city and I wanna know NOW  
Iris:okay damn girl...Barry DID propose  
Linda:OMFG  
Iris:ikr. HE FUCKING SANG TO ME!  
Linda:Every woman needs a Barry Allen.  
Iris:Nope. He's mine.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She's gone...

Barry:Cisco...I think u might want to know about this  
Cisco:about what.  
Barry:Look...she's gone  
Cisco:Who is she.  
Barry:our suit  
Cisco:NOOOOOO! WHAT DID U DO TO HER  
Barry:Well...I got stuck in a building while I was trying to defuse a bomb. I got everyone out but...she didn't make it  
Cisco:BARRY ALLEN! GET UR ASS BACK TO STAR LABS RN  
Barry:Kinda getting stitched up by Iris from getting hit by a bomb. Remember.  
Cisco:Y would u even try and DEFUSE A BOMB OFF DUTY  
Barry:I may not be Felicity Smoak but I cam hack. Plus, It was my day off and it was too far away to get to STAR labs fast enough.  
Cisco:i hate u  
Barry:luv u too bro  
Cisco:now i have to use my last suit.  
Barry:srry. If it helps, it's emblem is still there.  
Cisco:piss off  
Barry:again,sorry


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snowbert all the way tho. Yass

Caitlin:i fucking hate u  
Julian:why???  
Caitlin:ur always so fancy and posh  
Julian:???im...sorry??  
Caitlin:and u walk around so damn hot all the time and u don't even know it.  
Julian:ummm  
Caitlin:And one time,u walked past me and touched my ass and I got so turned on.  
Julian:Caitlin,what has gotten into u  
Caitlin:a meta made me tell the truth to everyone. His name is Honesty.  
Julian:so...u like me  
Caitlin:hell yes  
Julian:well...when does the serum wear off  
Caitlin:a day  
Julian:good. Im taking u on a date.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No sex in STAR labs Barry.

Barry and Cisco walked into the cortex, deep in conversation.  

"Dude,  Caitlin, Julian and I don't need to be an audience to you Iris's shenanigans."  Cisco said furiously.  Barry rolled his green eyes.  "Like you and Cynthia aren't going at in the closet everyday.  News Flash, we can hear you."  Barry fumed.  "Fine then.  It's on.  No sex in STAR Labs for a week."  Cisco concluded with a huff.  Barry snorted.  "Any pussy could beat that.  2 months."  He retorted.  Cisco raised his brows and crossed his arms.  "Deal."  He hissed.

This is a line break... 

 

About two weeks later:

Barry walked into the cortex where Cisco and Caitlin sat, trying to track down Savitar.  "Siri,what plans do I have tonight."  Barry asked his phone.  Apparently, his Bluetooth had connected to the STAR Labs speaker and she said:CLEAN THE STAR LABS CLOSET!  Caitlin and Cisco looked at Barry whose ears turned bright red along with his face.  "Why do you need to clean the closet."  Caitlin said with a raised eyebrow, putting her hands on her hips.  Cisco followed, also putting his hands on his hips.  Barry rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.  "Umm, I... Ate Mac n Cheese in there." He tried lamely.  Cisco and Caitlin, obviously not buying their excuse, headed towards the closet but Barry sped in front of them.  "The Mac n Cheese was really messy."  He said,covering what he could of the door with his lanky self.  

Caitlin and Cisco pushed past and opened up the door.  The room had the aroma of sex and cum was everywhere.  And if that wasn't a dead give away, Barry's boxers and Iris's bra where in a pile next to a used condom.  Caitlin fumed.   "Barry!  Did you lie to us!"  She screamed.  

Cisco stood in the door way with a smug expression on his handsome features.  Barry's eyes widened, not wanting to face the wrath of Caitlin.  She wasn't usually as scary as Iris or Felicity, but she could be if she wanted to.  Barry quickly came up with the dumbest excuse which was actually true.  "That's not entirely a lie.  I was eating Mac n Cheese and then I decided to fuck Iris with a spoon."  He said, saying the last part quietly.  Cisco, being the jokester he is, had to indulge in a little fun considering the humorous situation.  He put is hand next to his ear and said:What was that.  Barry narrowed his eyes at him, but when ge saw the look Caitlin was giving him, he essentially screamed out the sentence.  "I DECIDED TO FUCK IRIS WITH A SPOONFUL OF MAC N CHEESE.!"  He said, covering his mouth right after.  Caitlin rolled her doe, hazel eyes and trailed off.  Cisco stayed behind and smirked at Barry.  "Pay up boi."  He said in a gangster voice.  Barry hesitantly reached for his wallet and gave Cisco the 100 dollars in his wallet.  Damn.  He really needs to stop making bets and save up for his wedding.


	9. Chapter 9

Felicity:Barry FUCKING ALLEN  
Barry:what?  
Felicity:YOU FUCKING GOT ENGAGED AND DIDN'T TELL ME!  
Barry:umm  
Felicity:AND U GOT ENGAGED TO THE SECOND HOTTEST GIRL I KNOW!  
Barry:second?  
Felicity:Im the first. But why BARRY! WHY DIDN'T U TELL ME  
Barry:umm, we were going to announce it earlier but u know, traveling to the future and shit.  
Felicity:ok so...now that u decided that screwing up the past isn't such a great idea...u decide to screw up the future??  
Barry:hmm. Haven't really thought of it that way.  
Felicity:Whatever! Ollie is going to be so stoked to be ur best man!  
Barry:ohhhh  
Felicity:u chose Cisco didn't u  
Barry:i can still feel it when he shot me in the back with two arrows.   
Felicity:well.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That one night. Dammnit why is she so sexy.

Barry:FRANCISCO RAMON  
Cisco:smh what  
Barry:You got a girl pregnant.  
Cisco:what...no I didn't   
Barry:Lisa Snart.  
Cisco:HOW DID U KNOW  
Barry:She literally walked into STAR Labs looking for u yelling "cisco u bitch. U got me pregnant."  
Cisco:Hide me. Can I move in with u  
Barry:smh. Ur on ur own.  
Cisco:Fml rn.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's just say...Cisco cracks under pressure.

Phone call between Barry and Cisco  
Barry:Do you know something I don't?   
Cisco:...No  
Barry:Cisco.  
Cisco:Barry please...Iris is going to kill me!  
Barry:CISCO.RAMON. IF YOU DONT-  
Cisco:OKAY! OKAY! Brace yourself   
Barry:What?  
Cisco:Iris is pregnant.  
Barry: *thud* (passes out)  
Cisco:Barry. Barry!!!! DUDE YOU OKAY.  
Barry:(Wakes up 30 secs later) I think I need some medical attention.*grunts*


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wally and Jesse are so hot!!  
> My heart belongs to quickwest!

Jesse:Hey Wally...I heard your home alone.  
Wally:Yeah...And  
Jesse:So am I. Wanna know what I'm wearing   
Wally:??Emoji Pajama's  
Jesse:Nothing  
Wally:HOLD UP!  ARE YOU SEXTING ME!!  
Jesse:What was your first guess  
Wally:  I've always wanted to know what speedster sex was like.  Barry said you vibrate  
Jesse:Come over in 5.(Make sure ur clothes come off easily)  
Wally:Yup.  Speedster boners are so much harder than regular boners


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damn. Imagine a pregnant Felicity. Scariest thing known to mankind.

Phone call between Oliver and Felicity   
Felicity:You asshole  
Oliver:umm  
Felicity:Your kids will not stop kicking me to death  
Oliver:I-  
Felicity:*sobs* you're such an ass  
Oliver:Felicity. You had been trying convince me for MONTHS to get pregnant   
Felicity:That was when I didn't have to pee every 30 minutes and I could touch my toes.   
Oliver:I'm sorry  
Felicity:Fuck you...bring home ice cream.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You Fucking-

Phone call between Barry and Iris

Iris: Hey Barr!(Over cheerful voice.)  
Barry:Hey Iris...(Confused)  
Iris:Hey Barry  
Barry:Yea?  
Iris:I hate you  
Barry:Knew that was coming  
Iris:YOU Told ME to go into journalism and now I'm stuck writing this shit about how me and the flash ARE DATING  
Barry:Ummmm-  
Iris:I downed a whole bottle of aspirin and almost puked up breakfast trying to get this shit done.  
Barry:But we ARE dating. Actually...we're married  
Iris:I'm trying to find a way to find a way to convince the public that it was not me making out with you in that photograph paparazzi took  
Barry:If it makes you feel any better, both the Flash and Barry Allen love you  
Iris:Piss off. It's your fault for making us have mind-blowing rooftop sex  
Barry:Sorry. Gotta go. This city needs saving.  
Be back in a Flash! Iris:How many TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO STOP SAYING THAT! IT"S ANNOYING AS FUCK!  
Barry:Someones on their period  
Iris:You fucking-  
Barry:(Hangs up)


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ParkWest friendship alert! Linda was so under appreciated and they just scrapped her. Here's some friendship fluff between Linda and Iris.

Linda:heyyyyyyyyyyy gurl  
Iris:Umm  
Linda:I havd a problim  
Iris:What...are you drunk  
Linda:mabey?  
Iris:ugh. Where are u?  
Linda:STAR Labs...I tink I haded sex wit a flash suit  
Iris:reason 1 of many why you should not be apart of Team Flash  
Linda:I need tew sta wit ou fo a little... until these black dots goaway.  
Iris:You're so annoying   
Linda:but chu luv me  
Iris:Ur right.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damn. Another phone call.

Barry: Shit...I have a problem   
Cisco: shoot  
Barry: Iris wants kids  
Cisco: Damn son. Just got married three mos ago  
Barry:I know. But she keeps looking at baby websites. She circled the cribs she wanted in a buy buy baby magazine   
Cisco: Do YOU want kids  
Barry: Idk. They're so adorable but, I just don't want to make a mistake with them.  
Cisco: Barry. Out of all of us, you and Iris are the second best people suited to be parents.  
Barry:second???  
Cisco: Caitlin's first  
Barry:uhhhh...k  
Barry:thx for the advice man  
Cisco:np.  
Cisco: But...it comes at a cost. You have to hide me from Captain Cold when he tries to kill me for getting Lisa pregnant.  
Barry:CISCO! We talked about this!  
Cisco: Barry please!


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damn you Cisco.

Revenge_served_cold just updated his FaceBook bio

I will find you Cisco Ramon. I will hunt you down until you have no where else to hide.   
Love,  
Lenny


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cisco, he's coming for you.

Leonard Snart:Hello Barry  
Barry Allen:Ummm...Snart, how do you have my number?  
Leonard Snart: That's not the point. I need your help in finding someone   
Barry Allen:Who?  
Leonard Snart:Who shouldn't be that much of a concern to you seeing as I helped with your fiancé and look at you guys now. Pregnant with twins.  
Barry Allen:That's none of your fucking business you asshole. If you so much as touch my wife, I'll kill you, I swear to motherfucking Christ.  
Leonard Snart:What a foul mouth you've got for a superhero Scarlet.  
Barry Allen:What the fuck do you want anyway...  
Barry Allen:Cisco?  
Leonard Snart:Cisco.


	19. Chapter 19

Cisco:Lisa, can u please get your brother to stop hunting for me cuz I got u pregnant.

Iris:This isn't Lisa...It's Iris.

Cisco:Ummm- can we please forget I said that before...

Iris:Omfg, you got a girl pregnant. You got Lisa Snart fucking preganant

Cisco:idk what you're talking about 

Iris:you know Snart's gonna kill u right?

Cisco:sadly, I'm more scared of Lisa. We eloped and now she's acting like my mom or something. She even hits me with wooden spoons. How did she know my mom did that?

Iris:YOU FUCKING ELOPED?!!!

Cisco Ramon blocked Iris West at 8:43 PM


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Thanks again for the bathroom sex at Froggy's"- Rebecca, This Is Us AKA the show I just finished watching that made me cry my life away.

Iris:hey barr.

Barry:Yes Iris.

Iris:i fucking hate you.

Barry:but I love you. And again, I'm sorry for the bathroom sex at Jitters.

Iris:I can't see my feet. Why can't i see my feet?

Barry:because you're 8 mos pregnant with twins

Iris:fuck you.

Barry:Brownies?  
Iris:Brownies.


End file.
